Thursday, August 07, 2008

My past life

If there were such a thing as reincarnation, I firmly believe that in a former life I drowned in a large body of water. Ever since I was 5 years old, I've had a recurring nightmare of being out in the middle of a lake or ocean without anyone around. As far as I could see, there was water, no land in sight! I remember waking and being terrified of this dream. I would try to think happy thoughts to get myself to sleep, but my mind would wander back to this nightmare.

To this day, I have no desire to be IN water unless it is in a swimming pool. I have been itching to exercise ever since we got here to Lake Arrowhead. They have hiking trails, but no flat running trails. I haven't ventured out to find these trails, either; they take a bit of research to find and drive to. Since I look out at the lake all day and I'm about 10 feet from it, I psyched myself up and decided to go out for a swim. I mean, why not? It seems like the perfect thing to do!

I put on my suit and the family walked with me down to the pier to cheer me on. It took me a while to get the guts to jump in, but eventually I took the dive. Immediately, I swam back to the pier and got out. I thought that once I jumped in I would get over the anxiety, but I was wrong. My anxiety tripled, my heart was racing, and I realized that this was NOT going to happen today. I gave a whole hearted attempt, but I just couldn't do it. I jumped in...that was a start, right?


Laura P said...

I never knew. Atleast you had the courage to get started. The fear thing I didn't know, but not surprised about the courage.

Erin said...

That is a start! I will never forget the first time I jumped off a pier when I was a kid. It was so frightening. And that anxiousness that you mention can be palatable. So cheers to you for being so brave! I can tell you that now... one of my favorite parts about going to Arrowhead is waking up early in the morning and running off that pier into the icy water. Hope you had a good time. I just love it up there.